I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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