I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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