My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
