smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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