dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
