smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
