So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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