trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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