if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
