I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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