my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
