everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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