are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
