i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Pants are for mortals
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
