I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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