Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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