I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
