spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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