She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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