dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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