Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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