would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
