she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
