so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
