i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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