Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize