look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize