I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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