you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
