The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
