She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
