see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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