Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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