I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
