take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Im part way to drunk.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
