If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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