i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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