Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
