what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
