he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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