dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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