I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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