Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize