I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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