I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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