so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
