If i come over, it means nothing
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize