just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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