Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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