He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
