im about as happy as oj after his trial
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
