I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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