I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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