We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
