listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
