No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
