Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize