Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
