and my herpes radar will keep us safe
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
