Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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