I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
