RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Do vagina's smell?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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