I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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