is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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