Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
