She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
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i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
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I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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