you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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