I want to have your abortion
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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