he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
