oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
