Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
