i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
