Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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