If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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