Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
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Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
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Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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